[Fun-] Bilder, Links, Tests, Spiele und Witze
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Skeletton_Knight
- Beiträge: 4528
- Registriert: 23.05.2006 15:45
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Ghost Rider
- Beiträge: 412
- Registriert: 28.05.2006 09:04
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20 Gründe warum Sie ein schlechter Terrorist sind
01. Viele ihrer Projekte gehen in die Hose, weil sie nur noch drei Finger zum Abzählen haben.
02. Sie wohnen in Pfullendorf direkt zwischen Polizeirevier und BND-HQ
03. Sie kommen einfach an keine Chemikalien mehr, seit sie zu dreimal Lebenslang verurteilt wurden.
04. Sie fragen sich, warum sie an jedem Grenzübergang einer Leibesvisitation unterzogen werden, obwohl sie groß: "Gegen Terror" auf ihre Motorhaube gesprayt haben.
05. Sie werden einfach nicht mit ihrem 100 Kilo schweren Sprengsatz fertig und finden ihre Freunde doof. Die meinen immer, es läge daran, daß sie ihren Sprengstoff von den Streichhölzern abkratzen würden.
06. Sie haben sich letzte Woche wieder zwei Kilo Backpulver als Koks unterjubeln lassen.
07. Sie suchen ihre Infos im Internet auf billigen Kopien von Bombenterror.de
08. Sie fragen sich immer noch, wie der BND ihr Plutonium finden konnte, obwohl sie es doch im doppelten Boden ihrer Kaffeedose lagerten.
09. Bin Laden halten sie immer noch für einen amerikanischen Topspion.
10. Selbst in ihrem Rollstuhl fahren sie noch über ihre eigenen Tretminen.
11. Der BND-Agent lachte sie aus, als sie von ihren drei aufeinander folgenden Kamikazieflügen erzählten.
12. Ihre Daten werden von einem Windowsrechner geschützt.
13. Beim Herstellen von Kohlenstaub verwenden sie immer eine Kerze als Lichtquelle.
14. Die Säuren beim Nitro mischen sie immer nach Gefühl.
15. Sie verstecken ihren Sprengstoff im Backofen.
16. Sie verstehen auch heute noch nicht, wie ihr Volk sie nach Elba verbannen konnte.
17. Auch ihr tausendster Fanbrief an Fidel Castro kam ungeöffnet und mit dem Aufdruck: "Unbekannt verzogen" zurück.
18. Irgendwie engt diese Zwangsjacke sie in ihrem Bewegungsdrang ein.
19. An Silvester hüpfen sie immer auf und ab und rufen die ganze Zeit nur: "Die Nacht des Teufels und keiner kann den Terror aufhalten", wonach sie gleichzeitig fünf Böller zünden.
20. Mit ihren 40 Jahren wohnen sie immer noch bei ihren Eltern und besprechen alle ihre Pläne mit ihnen.
01. Viele ihrer Projekte gehen in die Hose, weil sie nur noch drei Finger zum Abzählen haben.
02. Sie wohnen in Pfullendorf direkt zwischen Polizeirevier und BND-HQ
03. Sie kommen einfach an keine Chemikalien mehr, seit sie zu dreimal Lebenslang verurteilt wurden.
04. Sie fragen sich, warum sie an jedem Grenzübergang einer Leibesvisitation unterzogen werden, obwohl sie groß: "Gegen Terror" auf ihre Motorhaube gesprayt haben.
05. Sie werden einfach nicht mit ihrem 100 Kilo schweren Sprengsatz fertig und finden ihre Freunde doof. Die meinen immer, es läge daran, daß sie ihren Sprengstoff von den Streichhölzern abkratzen würden.
06. Sie haben sich letzte Woche wieder zwei Kilo Backpulver als Koks unterjubeln lassen.
07. Sie suchen ihre Infos im Internet auf billigen Kopien von Bombenterror.de
08. Sie fragen sich immer noch, wie der BND ihr Plutonium finden konnte, obwohl sie es doch im doppelten Boden ihrer Kaffeedose lagerten.
09. Bin Laden halten sie immer noch für einen amerikanischen Topspion.
10. Selbst in ihrem Rollstuhl fahren sie noch über ihre eigenen Tretminen.
11. Der BND-Agent lachte sie aus, als sie von ihren drei aufeinander folgenden Kamikazieflügen erzählten.
12. Ihre Daten werden von einem Windowsrechner geschützt.
13. Beim Herstellen von Kohlenstaub verwenden sie immer eine Kerze als Lichtquelle.
14. Die Säuren beim Nitro mischen sie immer nach Gefühl.
15. Sie verstecken ihren Sprengstoff im Backofen.
16. Sie verstehen auch heute noch nicht, wie ihr Volk sie nach Elba verbannen konnte.
17. Auch ihr tausendster Fanbrief an Fidel Castro kam ungeöffnet und mit dem Aufdruck: "Unbekannt verzogen" zurück.
18. Irgendwie engt diese Zwangsjacke sie in ihrem Bewegungsdrang ein.
19. An Silvester hüpfen sie immer auf und ab und rufen die ganze Zeit nur: "Die Nacht des Teufels und keiner kann den Terror aufhalten", wonach sie gleichzeitig fünf Böller zünden.
20. Mit ihren 40 Jahren wohnen sie immer noch bei ihren Eltern und besprechen alle ihre Pläne mit ihnen.
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Ghost Rider
- Beiträge: 412
- Registriert: 28.05.2006 09:04
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Die DEFINITIONEN der Dinge
ARCHITEKT: Seltsamer Mann, der nicht männlich
genug war,um es zum Ingenieur zu schaffen, doch auch
nicht schwul genug war, um Designer/Dekorateur zu
werden
BANKER: Übler Mensch, der einem bei strahlendem
Sonnenwetter einen Schirm leiht, um ihn bei
Regenwetter wieder zurückzuverlangen
BERATER: Jemand, der morgen weiß warum das,
was er gestern vorhergesagt hatte, heute nicht
eingetroffen ist
CONSULTANT: Lustiger Mensch, der einem die
Armbanduhr abnimmt, einem die Uhrzeit sagt und dann
noch Honorar dafür verrechnet
FREUND: Eine männliche Person, die ein gewisses
Etwas hat, das verhindert, mit ihm im Bett zu landen
FREUNDIN: Eine weibliche Person, die ein gewisses
Etwas hat, das eine ungeheure Lust hervorruft, mit ihr
im Bett zu landen
INFLATION: Leben mit den Preisen des nächsten
und dem Gehalt des letzten Jahres
KOPFSCHMERZEN: Das meistgebrauchte Verhütungsmittel
der Frau der 90er
LEICHT: Sagt man zu einer Frau, die die sexuelle
Moral eines Mannes hat
LIEBE: Wort mit fünf Buchstaben, drei Vokalen, zwei Konsonanten und
zwei Idioten
MONOGAMIE: unterdrückte Polygamie
NYMPHOMANIN: Ausdruck den ein Mann gebraucht, um
eine Frau zu bezeichnen, die öfters Sex haben will
als er
PESSIMIST: Optimist mit Erfahrung
PSYCHOLOGE: Jemand, der die anderen anschaut,
wenn eine schöne Frau den Raum betritt
TANZEN: vertikale Frustration einer horizontalen
Begierde
TEAMWORK: Möglichkeit, anderen die Schuld in die
Schuhe schieben zu können
UROLOGE: Netter Arzt, der deinen Penis mit
Herablassung anschaut, ihn mit mitleidigem Blick
berührt und dann eine Rechnung stellt, als hätte er
dir einen geblasen
ARCHITEKT: Seltsamer Mann, der nicht männlich
genug war,um es zum Ingenieur zu schaffen, doch auch
nicht schwul genug war, um Designer/Dekorateur zu
werden
BANKER: Übler Mensch, der einem bei strahlendem
Sonnenwetter einen Schirm leiht, um ihn bei
Regenwetter wieder zurückzuverlangen
BERATER: Jemand, der morgen weiß warum das,
was er gestern vorhergesagt hatte, heute nicht
eingetroffen ist
CONSULTANT: Lustiger Mensch, der einem die
Armbanduhr abnimmt, einem die Uhrzeit sagt und dann
noch Honorar dafür verrechnet
FREUND: Eine männliche Person, die ein gewisses
Etwas hat, das verhindert, mit ihm im Bett zu landen
FREUNDIN: Eine weibliche Person, die ein gewisses
Etwas hat, das eine ungeheure Lust hervorruft, mit ihr
im Bett zu landen
INFLATION: Leben mit den Preisen des nächsten
und dem Gehalt des letzten Jahres
KOPFSCHMERZEN: Das meistgebrauchte Verhütungsmittel
der Frau der 90er
LEICHT: Sagt man zu einer Frau, die die sexuelle
Moral eines Mannes hat
LIEBE: Wort mit fünf Buchstaben, drei Vokalen, zwei Konsonanten und
zwei Idioten
MONOGAMIE: unterdrückte Polygamie
NYMPHOMANIN: Ausdruck den ein Mann gebraucht, um
eine Frau zu bezeichnen, die öfters Sex haben will
als er
PESSIMIST: Optimist mit Erfahrung
PSYCHOLOGE: Jemand, der die anderen anschaut,
wenn eine schöne Frau den Raum betritt
TANZEN: vertikale Frustration einer horizontalen
Begierde
TEAMWORK: Möglichkeit, anderen die Schuld in die
Schuhe schieben zu können
UROLOGE: Netter Arzt, der deinen Penis mit
Herablassung anschaut, ihn mit mitleidigem Blick
berührt und dann eine Rechnung stellt, als hätte er
dir einen geblasen
sag mal wo schnappst du eigentlich immer den scheiß af ghost rider?
Ich mein is nicht schlecht trotzdem die frage bleibt^^?
Ich mein is nicht schlecht trotzdem die frage bleibt^^?
[URL=http://imageshack.us][img:beb4c3ccb4]http://img67.imageshack.us/img67/4512/untitled344el5.jpg[/img:beb4c3ccb4][/URL]
Metal rettet!
(mein Postcount + 2660 vom alten acc Gzone)
Metal rettet!
(mein Postcount + 2660 vom alten acc Gzone)
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Skeletton_Knight
- Beiträge: 4528
- Registriert: 23.05.2006 15:45
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Ghost Rider
- Beiträge: 412
- Registriert: 28.05.2006 09:04
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Ganz einfach unter Google. Da findet man ein Haufen Seiten auf denen solche Sachen stehen.Gzone hat geschrieben:sag mal wo schnappst du eigentlich immer den scheiß af ghost rider?
Ich mein is nicht schlecht trotzdem die frage bleibt^^?
@Topic
Bewerbung bei McDonalds
Dieser Bewerbungsfragebogen von McDonalds wurde wirklich so ausgefüllt, und der Bewerber wurde auch tatsächlich eingestellt!
1. Name/Vorname:
Jancqueur, Herve
2. Alter:
28
3. Gewünschte Stellung:
Horizontal, und zwar so oft wie möglich. - Jetzt mal ernsthaft, ich mache alle Arten von Arbeiten. Wenn ich wirklich in der Lage wäre, Ansprüche zu stellen, wäre ich jetzt nicht hier.
4. Gehaltsvorstellungen:
51.000 DM brutto im Jahr, plus Weihnachtsgeld und Extrazulagen. Wenn das nicht möglich ist, machen Sie mir ein Angebot, wir können verhandeln
5. Ausbildung:
Ja.
6. Letzte Anstellung:
Lieblingszielscheibe eines sadistischen Abteilungsleiters
7. Letztes Gehalt:
Unter meinem tatsächlichen Niveau.
8. Offenkundige Erfolge (im Rahmen dieser Arbeit):
Eine unglaubliche Ausstellung von gestohlenen Kugelschreibern, die zur Zeit in meiner Wohnung zu besichtigen ist.
9. Gründe für Ihre Kündigung:
Siehe Frage Nr. 6.
10. Verfügbarkeit:
Egal wann.
11. Gewünschte Arbeitszeiten:
Von 13.00 bis 15.00 Uhr, montags, dienstags und donnerstags.
12. Haben Sie besondere Fähigkeiten?
Natürlich, aber diese sind in einem intimeren Bereich als in einem Fast - Food Restaurant von Nutzen.
13. Dürfen wir Ihren aktuellen Arbeitgeber kontaktieren?
Wenn ich einen hätte, wäre ich nicht hier.
14. Hindert Sie Ihre physische Verfassung, etwas zu heben, das schwerer ist als 20 kg?
Das kommt drauf an. 20kg von was?
15. Haben Sie ein Auto?
Ja. Aber die Frage ist falsch formuliert. Sie müsste vielmehr heißen: "Besitzen Sie ein Auto das noch fährt, und haben Sie den entsprechenden Führerschein?" - Die Antwort auf diese Frage wäre ohne jeden Zweifel eine andere.
16. Haben Sie schon einen Wettbewerb gewonnen oder eine Auszeichnung erhalten?
Eine Auszeichnung nicht aber ich habe schon zweimal drei Richtige im Lotto getippt.
17. Rauchen Sie?
Nur beim Sex.
18. Was möchten Sie in 5 Jahren machen?
Auf den Bahamas wohnen, zusammen mit einem superreichen Top-Model, das mich vergöttert. Um ehrlich zu sein, möchte ich das jetzt schon, wenn Sie mir sagen könnten, wie ich das anstellen soll.
19. Können Sie uns bestätigen, das die oben gemachten Angaben vollständig und wahrheitsgemäß sind?
Nein, aber es liegt an Ihnen, das Gegenteil zu beweisen.
20. Welches ist der Hauptgrund, sich bei uns zu bewerben?
Dazu habe ich zwei Versionen: 1. Die Liebe zu meinen Mitmenschen, ein profundes Mitgefühl und die Möglichkeit, anderen zu helfen, satt zu werden. ODER: 2. Horrende Schulden. Was denken Sie?
Hier noch ein paar nette Bilder
Superman war gestern hier ist Durchfallmann
viel geiler: Burnt Face man XD http://newgrounds.com/portal/view/179483
Gibts auch mehrere Folgen von,. Einfach unter den Votes auf das gebe Teil klicken da kommen Filme von dem User. Und da sind halt mehrere Filgen von dem drin^^
Gibts auch mehrere Folgen von,. Einfach unter den Votes auf das gebe Teil klicken da kommen Filme von dem User. Und da sind halt mehrere Filgen von dem drin^^
[URL=http://imageshack.us][img:beb4c3ccb4]http://img67.imageshack.us/img67/4512/untitled344el5.jpg[/img:beb4c3ccb4][/URL]
Metal rettet!
(mein Postcount + 2660 vom alten acc Gzone)
Metal rettet!
(mein Postcount + 2660 vom alten acc Gzone)
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Skeletton_Knight
- Beiträge: 4528
- Registriert: 23.05.2006 15:45
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Policenaut
- Beiträge: 157
- Registriert: 20.06.2006 05:05
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Lustige Webcomics rund um das Thema Videogames:
http://www.duelinganalogs.com/?date=2005-11-17
Da kann man sich doch nur schlapplachen
http://www.duelinganalogs.com/?date=2005-11-17
Da kann man sich doch nur schlapplachen
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johndoe-freename-96088
- Beiträge: 1126
- Registriert: 13.05.2006 15:20
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johndoe-freename-96088
- Beiträge: 1126
- Registriert: 13.05.2006 15:20
- Persönliche Nachricht:
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johndoe-freename-96088
- Beiträge: 1126
- Registriert: 13.05.2006 15:20
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Policenaut
- Beiträge: 157
- Registriert: 20.06.2006 05:05
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Hier was für ältere Zocker (oder auch Retrojunkies) :
You Know You're a Gamer When...
1. You know you're a gamer when you've modded a game system and went out of your way to make sure it couldn't play pirated games.
2. When you want to trade Wrecking Crew level designs with people on the internet.
3. When you laugh at Miracle Warriors jokes.
4. When you get really offended by Miracle Warriors jokes.
5. As a kid, you beat the crap out of Fred Savage to get his advanced copy of Super Mario 3.
6. You knew who Richter Belmont was back in 1993 before the word "haircut" mysteriously disappeared from his vocabulary.
7. You built a portable SNES a few years ago and when people started saying things like "I can't wait until the portable version of Link to the Past comes out," you thought you had traveled a decade backwards through time.
8. You helped make GameGo magazine.
9. If I mentioned Super Mario Bros. Soda Pop, you would immediately be able to remember which of the four flavors was the best, but you know that that doesn't make you any more of a gamer.
10. You know you're a gamer when you come back to your parked car to find that hoodlums have destroyed it and the first thing that comes to mind is to get down on your knees, cry, and say "Oh my car," like the guy from Final Fight.
11. You can actually explain the whole Wonder Boy/Monster World/Monster Lair thing.
12. You collected Game & Watches before the gameboy games made them popular.
13. If Konami were to release a home version of the Simpsons arcade game right now, you would get it.
14. If Nintendo were to release G-Zero for Virtual Boy right now, you would get it automatically because you pre-ordered it back in 1995.
15. When you know that Gameboy Advance has yet to get a fighting game better than Neo-Geo Pocket.
16. You know you're a gamer when a guy says, "I'm rich because the other day I found a box of Sapphires on the side of the road," and you immediately assume that he's talking about the game.
17. You know you're a gamer when you scoff at that last sign thinking, "My Twinkle Star Sprites AES cart has got to be worth more than a Sapphire!"
18. A game store manager convinces you that you’ve overestimated the value of your Twinkle Star Sprites cart and you reply, "Hmm... Well, how about my Darius Alpha?"
19. You know you’re a gamer when you recognize that the previous two signs could just as easily indicate that you are a just a rich bastard. (Or a kid with a maxed out credit card, I suppose...)
20. You've spent weeks poking around at Capcom to learn the true identities of the Rockman 2 staff. Who IS Fishman!?!
21. You've figured out how to save tracks on Excitebike.
22. You're not Japanese, but you've stood in line to get a Dragon Quest game on the launch date.
23. You stood in line for Dragon Quest 1 for Famicom.
24. You've tried to see how many laps through Contra you could do on one continue and quit after realizing that you were just amassing more and more lives.
25. You own multiple copies of Contra and have races.
26. You are such a smug bastard that when you race you play the import version of Contra and spend a minute between each level looking at the map discussing strategies with yourself.
27. You're European and every time you meet a German, you say "Thanks a lot, jerk!" And when they ask you what you're talking about you say, "Oh you know!" and hold up a copy of Probotector.
28. I could say, "You know that one part where you have to get the one-up before you go down the pipe in the first world of Super Mario?" and you would visualize a pixel-perfect image of what I described.
29. You know what TGL is.
30. You've stopped playing yourself and finally come to terms with the fact that the NES Castlevania 2 has worse music than the Famicom Disk version.
31. A friend once asked you if you liked any games that weren't so spastic. You replied with, "If you don't want games that cause seizures, go play the NES version of Fantasy Zone!!"
32. You own a Neo-Geo CD, but the only games you have for it are Samurai Spirits RPG and Crossed Swords 2.
33. You've spent a lot of time engineering ways to get around Nintendo's d-pad patent.
34. You think the Gamecube's Z-button should be called the Mode button.
35. When somebody asks you to describe the ultimate videogame, and then eventually stops you exclaiming, "Wait a minute, you're just describing Mega Man in the Wily Wars!!"
36. When you don't understand why they have yet to make a 2D shooter/RPG.
37. When you would rather have a deluxe sit-down Afterburner arcade machine than every X-Box game there is.
38. When you see somebody playing a game on an emulator and you say, "So getting some screen-grabs, eh?" without even considering that the person might not own the game.
39. When you've never played one of those VM Labs Project X DVD players, but every now and then you wonder whether Tempest 3000 is indeed 1000 coolness units better than Tempest 2000. ...Because that would be pretty cool.
40. You're not a gamer unless you've played Turbo Duo. (Or a Turbo GrafX with the CD drive and Super System Card, or the Japanese equivalent of either, but for the sake of being concise...)
41. You're not a gamer unless you like Turbo Duo.
42. You know you're a gamer if when you first saw Sega Rally for Gameboy Advance you fell to the floor in the fetal position and wailed, "Gameboy Advance was only supposed to have 2-D games!!!!!!!!"
43. When you ask people if they have played Monster World 2, and they reply that they haven't because they can't afford to get every game system. You don't believe these people and reply, "but it was released for both Master System and Turbo GrafX, and unlike the first one they were both released outside of Japan!!"
44. You like 2-D fighting games a lot more than 3-D ones.
(Now this isn't required to be a gamer, it's just a good sign.)
45. When the amount of video game music you have subconsciously memorized frightens you. Come to think of it, the amount of Mega Man music alone is enough to make you catatonic...
46. You thought Wario World looked stupid, then you heard that Treasure was developing it and it has become you're most eagerly anticipated Gamecube game.
47. You can convincingly argue that the Duck Tales and Rescue Rangers games are NOT for kids.
48. You can't read Japanese except for words such as yes, no, save, load, options, stereo, and monoral.
49. You know who Justin Bailey is.
50. You call the dial on your microwave a "paddle."
51. You think "Nintendo World Cup Soccer" is an authentic simulator of ideal international sportsmanship.
52. You can think of practical uses for Mario's POW-blocks in real life.
53. A friend makes you play NARC for NES, and right away you notice that the shoot and jump buttons are switched around. After this outrage, you can't stop complaining about how "Western" the game is until your friend turns the damn thing off.
54. When somebody complains about not being able to save Square games on their third-party Playstation memory card, you go into a long diatribe about the importance of only buying first-party accessories.
55. When you complain about not being able to save in the first two Dragon Quest games.
56. You can eat while competently playing action games.
57. When you can eat while competently playing Kings of the Beach on four player mode by yourself.
58. You enjoy eating Japanese melons, which you first learned of through videogames.
59. Sometimes while doing little things like using a bike pump or arm wrestling, you think to yourself: "If this were a game, I'd be button mashing right now...."
60. You have pets named after video games. "These are my hamsters: Capcom and Konami."
(bonus points if you’ve ever said something such as, "Last week, my gerbil, Compile, was eaten by my python, From Software.")
61. You think the name "Viewtiful Joe" is really cool.
62. You watched the original Saturn demo disc the other day and you were the only person in the room who didn't laugh when the guy with the black and white face said "Play your games in the 21st century: Sega Saturn!!"
63. When somebody says something like, "Man, the people who made Super Mario Brothers must have been on something, I mean he eats mushrooms and gets bigger," at least 10 games that are more psychedelic immediately pop into your head, half of which are for Master System.
64. You've forgotten that Ebay lets you bid before the final minute of an auction.
65. You can beat Makaimura games.
66. You know how to install an Afterburner in your Gameboy Advance.
67. You know how to install an Afterburner in your Wonderswan!
68. You own more than one Tennokoe Bank.
69. You have an X-Box. ...But it's not like you play it or anything....
70. When you've spent so much time looking at Sega Master System games on eBay that out of curiosity you actually purchased the "Master System to Better Golf" video. Every time you want Master System games, it's there. And eventually you start to think, "Maybe my golf game could use some improvement," even though you've never golfed in your life!!!
71. You watch Extended Play, but you hate it.
72. You've given defunct game systems like Turbo GrafX and Neo-Geo Pocket to friends as gifts.
73. You think it would be cute if Matt Hoffman's BMX game was released in Japan under the name "Jitensha de Go!"
74. A friend of yours said they wanted Sonic Mega Collection, so you gave them Sonic Jam with a Ristar cartridge taped to the case.
75. When you can quote obscure games around your family and friends and they laugh. Ex: Saying "Yeah, me too man!" in a raspy voice to imitate Forgotten Worlds for Duo.
76. When you actually know what a takt is.
77. When the first time you saw that doctored picture of Dracula X for Neo-Geo that used to be floating around, you nearly crapped your pants.
78. You compulsively alphabetize your friends' games. (Bonus points if you do something weird like sort them by developer, in order of when they were released.)
79. Your parents love Sega because as a kid you wanted to be a spaceship pilot or a superhero, but now that you're 24 and should probably get a job, you think it would be pretty cool to drive a taxi cab or a big-rig. You could even be a firefighter!
80. You've performed Jeremy Statz's procedure to add a pause button to your Master System controller.
81. The cost of a Gameboy Advance SP is less than the cost of the batteries your original GBA has consumed.
82. You know you're a gamer when it's safe to assume that if you played Virtual Boy as much as you've played Gameboy Advance, you would be blind.
83. You long for the days when video games were all about scantily clad men who fought wild animals. The less games are like Amagon and Legendary Axe, the worse they are.
84. You consider that year or two when there weren't any good games available for Genesis yet to be "The Golden Age of Gaming."
85. While the year 2000 saw economic woes for most of the nation, you saw 400% returns buying and selling Zero Wing.
86. You refer to buying and selling games whose value wax and wane very quickly--like Zero Wing and Ice Climber--as "day-trading;" meanwhile your retirement is safely invested in Neo-Geo joysticks and Outrun 3D.
87. When it does not seem the least bit retro for you to play games stored on cards. You have at least two game systems that do so.
88. You hadn't considered including Turbo Express as one of your two aforementioned game systems because counting both a home console and a portable that play the same games would have obviously been redundant.
89. The words "Card e-Reader" would not have even occurred to you hadn't it been for their being just mentioned.
90. The past three signs have once again proven to you that purchasing a Master System II would come back to haunt you every day of your life.
91. The words "Rock Board" make you suddenly realize that you haven't checked eBay lately.
92. After Nintendo made it so you didn't need to mod your GBA to hook it up to a tv or get a back light, you decided to occupy yourself by trying to make SNES pads work with your Gamecube, only to find that Hori has spoiled that fun as well!
93. You know you're a gamer when you've started a video game club. It's like a book club. You choose a game, everyone plays through it over the course of the month, and then you discuss it.
94. You know you are a gamer when you're disappointed when your video game club's discussion of Castlevania II didn't go far enough in depth. It didn't address any of the following topics:
-What does the game's depiction of the Church say about Christianity? Is religion shallow? Do we take advantage of it in our daily lives?
-Simon's whip: is it a representation of his manhood?
-How does the game make Simon out to be a Christ-figure?
-How is Dracula a Christ-figure?
-How is the relationship between Simon and Dracula homoerotic?
-What exactly is being said when someone brings about Dracula's (Christ's) rebirth only to beat him into submission with a whip, (penis) subsequently leading to the demise of both characters?
95. You know you're a gamer when, upon reading the last sign, you find it necessary to remind me that--depending upon which ending you get--Simon and Dracula don't have to die.
You Know You're a Gamer When...
1. You know you're a gamer when you've modded a game system and went out of your way to make sure it couldn't play pirated games.
2. When you want to trade Wrecking Crew level designs with people on the internet.
3. When you laugh at Miracle Warriors jokes.
4. When you get really offended by Miracle Warriors jokes.
5. As a kid, you beat the crap out of Fred Savage to get his advanced copy of Super Mario 3.
6. You knew who Richter Belmont was back in 1993 before the word "haircut" mysteriously disappeared from his vocabulary.
7. You built a portable SNES a few years ago and when people started saying things like "I can't wait until the portable version of Link to the Past comes out," you thought you had traveled a decade backwards through time.
8. You helped make GameGo magazine.
9. If I mentioned Super Mario Bros. Soda Pop, you would immediately be able to remember which of the four flavors was the best, but you know that that doesn't make you any more of a gamer.
10. You know you're a gamer when you come back to your parked car to find that hoodlums have destroyed it and the first thing that comes to mind is to get down on your knees, cry, and say "Oh my car," like the guy from Final Fight.
11. You can actually explain the whole Wonder Boy/Monster World/Monster Lair thing.
12. You collected Game & Watches before the gameboy games made them popular.
13. If Konami were to release a home version of the Simpsons arcade game right now, you would get it.
14. If Nintendo were to release G-Zero for Virtual Boy right now, you would get it automatically because you pre-ordered it back in 1995.
15. When you know that Gameboy Advance has yet to get a fighting game better than Neo-Geo Pocket.
16. You know you're a gamer when a guy says, "I'm rich because the other day I found a box of Sapphires on the side of the road," and you immediately assume that he's talking about the game.
17. You know you're a gamer when you scoff at that last sign thinking, "My Twinkle Star Sprites AES cart has got to be worth more than a Sapphire!"
18. A game store manager convinces you that you’ve overestimated the value of your Twinkle Star Sprites cart and you reply, "Hmm... Well, how about my Darius Alpha?"
19. You know you’re a gamer when you recognize that the previous two signs could just as easily indicate that you are a just a rich bastard. (Or a kid with a maxed out credit card, I suppose...)
20. You've spent weeks poking around at Capcom to learn the true identities of the Rockman 2 staff. Who IS Fishman!?!
21. You've figured out how to save tracks on Excitebike.
22. You're not Japanese, but you've stood in line to get a Dragon Quest game on the launch date.
23. You stood in line for Dragon Quest 1 for Famicom.
24. You've tried to see how many laps through Contra you could do on one continue and quit after realizing that you were just amassing more and more lives.
25. You own multiple copies of Contra and have races.
26. You are such a smug bastard that when you race you play the import version of Contra and spend a minute between each level looking at the map discussing strategies with yourself.
27. You're European and every time you meet a German, you say "Thanks a lot, jerk!" And when they ask you what you're talking about you say, "Oh you know!" and hold up a copy of Probotector.
28. I could say, "You know that one part where you have to get the one-up before you go down the pipe in the first world of Super Mario?" and you would visualize a pixel-perfect image of what I described.
29. You know what TGL is.
30. You've stopped playing yourself and finally come to terms with the fact that the NES Castlevania 2 has worse music than the Famicom Disk version.
31. A friend once asked you if you liked any games that weren't so spastic. You replied with, "If you don't want games that cause seizures, go play the NES version of Fantasy Zone!!"
32. You own a Neo-Geo CD, but the only games you have for it are Samurai Spirits RPG and Crossed Swords 2.
33. You've spent a lot of time engineering ways to get around Nintendo's d-pad patent.
34. You think the Gamecube's Z-button should be called the Mode button.
35. When somebody asks you to describe the ultimate videogame, and then eventually stops you exclaiming, "Wait a minute, you're just describing Mega Man in the Wily Wars!!"
36. When you don't understand why they have yet to make a 2D shooter/RPG.
37. When you would rather have a deluxe sit-down Afterburner arcade machine than every X-Box game there is.
38. When you see somebody playing a game on an emulator and you say, "So getting some screen-grabs, eh?" without even considering that the person might not own the game.
39. When you've never played one of those VM Labs Project X DVD players, but every now and then you wonder whether Tempest 3000 is indeed 1000 coolness units better than Tempest 2000. ...Because that would be pretty cool.
40. You're not a gamer unless you've played Turbo Duo. (Or a Turbo GrafX with the CD drive and Super System Card, or the Japanese equivalent of either, but for the sake of being concise...)
41. You're not a gamer unless you like Turbo Duo.
42. You know you're a gamer if when you first saw Sega Rally for Gameboy Advance you fell to the floor in the fetal position and wailed, "Gameboy Advance was only supposed to have 2-D games!!!!!!!!"
43. When you ask people if they have played Monster World 2, and they reply that they haven't because they can't afford to get every game system. You don't believe these people and reply, "but it was released for both Master System and Turbo GrafX, and unlike the first one they were both released outside of Japan!!"
44. You like 2-D fighting games a lot more than 3-D ones.
(Now this isn't required to be a gamer, it's just a good sign.)
45. When the amount of video game music you have subconsciously memorized frightens you. Come to think of it, the amount of Mega Man music alone is enough to make you catatonic...
46. You thought Wario World looked stupid, then you heard that Treasure was developing it and it has become you're most eagerly anticipated Gamecube game.
47. You can convincingly argue that the Duck Tales and Rescue Rangers games are NOT for kids.
48. You can't read Japanese except for words such as yes, no, save, load, options, stereo, and monoral.
49. You know who Justin Bailey is.
50. You call the dial on your microwave a "paddle."
51. You think "Nintendo World Cup Soccer" is an authentic simulator of ideal international sportsmanship.
52. You can think of practical uses for Mario's POW-blocks in real life.
53. A friend makes you play NARC for NES, and right away you notice that the shoot and jump buttons are switched around. After this outrage, you can't stop complaining about how "Western" the game is until your friend turns the damn thing off.
54. When somebody complains about not being able to save Square games on their third-party Playstation memory card, you go into a long diatribe about the importance of only buying first-party accessories.
55. When you complain about not being able to save in the first two Dragon Quest games.
56. You can eat while competently playing action games.
57. When you can eat while competently playing Kings of the Beach on four player mode by yourself.
58. You enjoy eating Japanese melons, which you first learned of through videogames.
59. Sometimes while doing little things like using a bike pump or arm wrestling, you think to yourself: "If this were a game, I'd be button mashing right now...."
60. You have pets named after video games. "These are my hamsters: Capcom and Konami."
(bonus points if you’ve ever said something such as, "Last week, my gerbil, Compile, was eaten by my python, From Software.")
61. You think the name "Viewtiful Joe" is really cool.
62. You watched the original Saturn demo disc the other day and you were the only person in the room who didn't laugh when the guy with the black and white face said "Play your games in the 21st century: Sega Saturn!!"
63. When somebody says something like, "Man, the people who made Super Mario Brothers must have been on something, I mean he eats mushrooms and gets bigger," at least 10 games that are more psychedelic immediately pop into your head, half of which are for Master System.
64. You've forgotten that Ebay lets you bid before the final minute of an auction.
65. You can beat Makaimura games.
66. You know how to install an Afterburner in your Gameboy Advance.
67. You know how to install an Afterburner in your Wonderswan!
68. You own more than one Tennokoe Bank.
69. You have an X-Box. ...But it's not like you play it or anything....
70. When you've spent so much time looking at Sega Master System games on eBay that out of curiosity you actually purchased the "Master System to Better Golf" video. Every time you want Master System games, it's there. And eventually you start to think, "Maybe my golf game could use some improvement," even though you've never golfed in your life!!!
71. You watch Extended Play, but you hate it.
72. You've given defunct game systems like Turbo GrafX and Neo-Geo Pocket to friends as gifts.
73. You think it would be cute if Matt Hoffman's BMX game was released in Japan under the name "Jitensha de Go!"
74. A friend of yours said they wanted Sonic Mega Collection, so you gave them Sonic Jam with a Ristar cartridge taped to the case.
75. When you can quote obscure games around your family and friends and they laugh. Ex: Saying "Yeah, me too man!" in a raspy voice to imitate Forgotten Worlds for Duo.
76. When you actually know what a takt is.
77. When the first time you saw that doctored picture of Dracula X for Neo-Geo that used to be floating around, you nearly crapped your pants.
78. You compulsively alphabetize your friends' games. (Bonus points if you do something weird like sort them by developer, in order of when they were released.)
79. Your parents love Sega because as a kid you wanted to be a spaceship pilot or a superhero, but now that you're 24 and should probably get a job, you think it would be pretty cool to drive a taxi cab or a big-rig. You could even be a firefighter!
80. You've performed Jeremy Statz's procedure to add a pause button to your Master System controller.
81. The cost of a Gameboy Advance SP is less than the cost of the batteries your original GBA has consumed.
82. You know you're a gamer when it's safe to assume that if you played Virtual Boy as much as you've played Gameboy Advance, you would be blind.
83. You long for the days when video games were all about scantily clad men who fought wild animals. The less games are like Amagon and Legendary Axe, the worse they are.
84. You consider that year or two when there weren't any good games available for Genesis yet to be "The Golden Age of Gaming."
85. While the year 2000 saw economic woes for most of the nation, you saw 400% returns buying and selling Zero Wing.
86. You refer to buying and selling games whose value wax and wane very quickly--like Zero Wing and Ice Climber--as "day-trading;" meanwhile your retirement is safely invested in Neo-Geo joysticks and Outrun 3D.
87. When it does not seem the least bit retro for you to play games stored on cards. You have at least two game systems that do so.
88. You hadn't considered including Turbo Express as one of your two aforementioned game systems because counting both a home console and a portable that play the same games would have obviously been redundant.
89. The words "Card e-Reader" would not have even occurred to you hadn't it been for their being just mentioned.
90. The past three signs have once again proven to you that purchasing a Master System II would come back to haunt you every day of your life.
91. The words "Rock Board" make you suddenly realize that you haven't checked eBay lately.
92. After Nintendo made it so you didn't need to mod your GBA to hook it up to a tv or get a back light, you decided to occupy yourself by trying to make SNES pads work with your Gamecube, only to find that Hori has spoiled that fun as well!
93. You know you're a gamer when you've started a video game club. It's like a book club. You choose a game, everyone plays through it over the course of the month, and then you discuss it.
94. You know you are a gamer when you're disappointed when your video game club's discussion of Castlevania II didn't go far enough in depth. It didn't address any of the following topics:
-What does the game's depiction of the Church say about Christianity? Is religion shallow? Do we take advantage of it in our daily lives?
-Simon's whip: is it a representation of his manhood?
-How does the game make Simon out to be a Christ-figure?
-How is Dracula a Christ-figure?
-How is the relationship between Simon and Dracula homoerotic?
-What exactly is being said when someone brings about Dracula's (Christ's) rebirth only to beat him into submission with a whip, (penis) subsequently leading to the demise of both characters?
95. You know you're a gamer when, upon reading the last sign, you find it necessary to remind me that--depending upon which ending you get--Simon and Dracula don't have to die.